What Practicing Mindfulness Meant For Me as a People Manager
I have always been a very rational person, loved analyzing data, finding insights, and enjoyed writing code a lot. I was very systematic in how I described the world around me, planned things perfectly and was skeptical about things I could not rationally understand. My role as a people manager also wasn’t something I would truly enjoy back then. What changed this trajectory was the moment I started practicing mindfulness.
I began my mediation practice 2 years ago. I was leading a team of data analysts at Socialbakers, had quite a stressful period of integrating two teams together, and dealing with some performance issues in the team. This period of my life was especially challenging and increased levels of stress brought about through my perfectionism and self-criticism led me to a downward spiral of anxiety. At that time, I decided I simply needed to focus on my wellbeing. I knew that if I wanted to live a sustainable, reasonably happy life; I had to decrease the amount of day-to-day stress, so I began practicing meditation.
Normally, I would be very skeptical about such things, but at that point I knew that what I needed was a genuine change. And after some time, I have found out that mindfulness affected almost every aspect of my life, including perception of my role as a people manager.
How It Changed Me?
Mindfulness practice has significantly affected my self-awareness as a people manager. It did not boost my ego; it was actually a complete opposite. I became humbler, and I started noticing and paying attention to more things. I became more aware of what emotions arose for me in different situations, emotions I would most likely ignore in the past until all these little unpleasant emotions would escalate into a terrible state of mind and me not understanding why I feel so bad suddenly. While sometimes it still happens to me, I feel I accept it a bit more, but also more often I can notice these little emotions earlier and therefore more in the actual situation, which helps a lot in understanding what the cause might be.
My fears not only blocked me, but it also blocked all other people in their development. I was simply stealing the opportunity to contribute from them.
While I was becoming more and more aware and in touch with myself, it helped me understand myself a bit more and therefore grow more confident with who I really was. I have noticed that in some situations; I had a tendency to come up with solutions or advice, not because I would have to, but because I feared not to be the person always having an expert opinion. Not having this expert opinion meant for me, I am perhaps not good enough in my role or not worth enough for the company. It was eye-opening to find out that this approach neither helped me, nor the company. When I understood what was going on for me and those were fears knocking on my door again, it was easier to step back. I let colleagues in my team express their own opinions and more importantly I was able to listen to these opinions in a nonjudgmental manner. And what I have found out? People in my team had impressive ideas and were coming with brilliant solutions. What a learning point, right? My fears not only blocked me, but it also blocked all other people in their development. I was simply stealing the opportunity to contribute from them. While I still might struggle with this from time to time, I try to pay more attention to it and ask more, rather than throwing opinions and advice out there. And when I still do, I am asking myself what are the fears that block me from being a better version of myself.
Does It Have Some Downsides?
Part of mindfulness meditation is also practicing feelings of compassion. While I would always describe myself as an empathetic person, it was the practice of mindfulness that over time allowed me to experience compassion as well. For me, the difference between the two was that while empathy only allows me to feel how the other person feels, compassion is a force that helps me to act and feel positive about my contribution to the situation. Compassion is one of the most fulfilling emotions I have ever experienced, and it genuinely and deeply touches my true self. While I still consider this feeling to be rare for me, I am grateful for every occasion when it comes up.
There is one thing about compassionate leadership. It’s definitely not hierarchical or directive. How is it to practice compassionate leadership in a traditional company environment? It’s tough. It might feel perhaps too naive, unrealistic, or maybe even weak to some people. On the other hand, I truly believe leaders should choose the leadership style that feels natural for them and especially for the junior leaders it’s very important to see the diversity around them to choose the right path. When I started as a team lead, I mostly saw autocratic leadership around me and was trying to push myself to be the same if I want to do my job right. Now I know the most important thing is to translate my personality into my leadership style. Not only it is a sustainable approach for me, I also believe that this authenticity helps all people around me feel better and more confident about themselves at work. And I am convinced that is a huge creativity and self-development booster.
Ok, but Companies Are About Making Money, Right?
There were several studies published on the relation between mindfulness and stress reduction, wellbeing and productivity increase at a workplace (for example, here or here). Many tools I have seen managers used to increase productivity of their employees often resulted in the complete opposite. Productivity driven by stress and extensive control might in the short-term lead to passivity, lack of motivation, or after some time even a burnout. Mindfulness allows leaders to keep productivity high while having control of stress levels. I consider this to be a very sustainable approach and I believe sustainability is a key for a long-term company strategy. This seems to be a great tool not only for allowing employees to succeed in their roles but also organizations as a whole.
While I truly believe each organization should offer a mindfulness program for their employees, having a few thought leaders in this area is usually more common. Even a single mindful leader of a small team can be an inspiration for others by providing support, ability to listen to their colleagues, and giving them freedom to solve problems. These hero leaders can help others grow, feel less stressed at work, boost their creativity and confidence levels and let them become great professionals. During my career, I have seen people growing into these great professionals and these moments heavily outweigh all the situations when I was the manager bringing “the best solution” to the table. And now I know why. The best solution arises from the openness to others and being nonjudgmental about other people’s ideas. I praise all these situations when I was an open-minded and a mindful leader.
We all experience painful moments in our lives. These moments challenge our perceptions and beliefs. My journey was about who I felt I should have been in my role. Accepting who I truly am through mindfulness mediation allows me to be a better version of myself in many situations. Mindful leaders can encourage authenticity and uniqueness not only in themselves but also in those around them. Mindfulness is not a goal; it is a learning path both individuals and companies can benefit from.
