On Wisdom In Leadership
Conquering the Leadership World With Inner Insight
After 3 years of daily meditation practice, my view on leadership has changed. I found out that leadership wisdom manifests through personal growth. Through acceptance of our interconnectedness and imperfections.
But what does this mean?
Leadership skills are a mix of a knowledge one can learn, read about or experience and a very subtle, hard to define, inner wisdom, intuition or an art. While the former knowledge I gained over time, I don’t think I would ever discover the latter without burning out and meditating. As Thomas Moore said, the dark nights of our souls are huge gifts that represent an opportunity to figure out what is truly important for us. To discover who we truly are.
A Continuous Process of Discovering Inner Wisdom
I don’t believe we can ever achieve ultimate wisdom in our lives. It would go against the essence of wisdom. It’s a process. This process happens without us contributing to it much. It’s a flow of life, a flow of wisdom. We often build dams to block the flow of life because we fear losing control or accepting our little ability to influence things. And this affects a leadership career too. Once one believes they have reached the wisdom and discovered the truth of leadership, they become a danger for people around them.
Building a cult of leadership is possible, but it’s far away from the wisdom. Wisdom is about connecting to the human being of ourselves, to our authentic self, our intuition. That is a door to wisdom. And as we do so, we become humbler. We also become aware that we are all connected. That we are all parts of the humankind, of the same whole. There is no good or bad. These are just concepts in our minds. It’s all one. Accepting the interconnectedness and the continuous flow can bring a lot of wisdom into leadership. It can also help us find a deep connection with other people.
Anytime I start thinking highly of my leadership skills, I run into a situation that puts me down and raises deep uncertainties inside of me. I tend to push these feelings away. They carry an important message though. That I am losing my leadership wisdom and I need to find a connection with myself, again.
One might think that burning out is not a sign of a successful career path. However, we can’t assess the impact of things unless we take into consideration how it affects everyone and everything. And not only now, but also at every given point in the future. My burnout was a dark night for me, but without it, I would probably not become a more genuine human being. I don’t think I could have influenced it much. I accept it humbly.
Is There a Wisdom Without Personal Growth?
It might be hard to believe that we are all parts of the same whole. Our initial reaction might be: “I am definitely not connected with people that do this and that. And definitely not with this or that person”. Sometimes our resistance might carry an important message, though. Maybe it links to the part of ourselves that we find hard to accept, that we push away.
When I approached challenging relationships in the workplace with empathy, compassion and positive regard, it not only improved the actual relationship, but it set me free and allowed me to move forward as a human being. I don’t believe there is wisdom in leadership without personal growth.
My manager was very skeptical about me stepping into the mental health topics in the workplace. They said things to me that were very personal and very painful for me. I don’t think they wanted to hurt me. I think there was something deeply important for them. Something that unconsciously influenced their behavior. If my manager was aware of it, they could have decided to act differently and not bring suffering into our relationship. Or they could have realized later and apologize. I think wisdom was missing here.
I Can’t Be In Touch with You
Ruth BebermeyerI can’t be in touch with you
when I’m not in touch with me.I can’t see you
when I’m looking for myself.So if I seem to pass you blind,
please try to keep in mind,
It isn’t you,
it’s me I cannot find.
Fears Impacting Our Decisions
My fears affect my ability to decide and connect with others. I don’t push it away, though. I stay aware. Leadership wisdom is about observing how our unconsciousness manifests into our consciousness. Taking it into consideration, not pushing it away when deciding, is an act of wisdom.
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
— Viktor Frankl
Once, a question about moving my teams into a different department was raised. My instant reaction was, “I can’t ever allow this!”. When I observed my reaction, I realized I felt a lot of helplessness because I would like to have an influence on the decision. I also reacted out of fear. While initially I tried to rationalize that I was protecting the teams, I was not. When I got the courage to provide myself with the most honest answer, the fear was coming from a different place. It was a fear that I might not be good enough, and that’s why the change was happening. While I had no objective reason for that, my anxiety kept knocking on the door. Being able to realize this and provide myself with kindness was crucial for me. In my life, I learned to prove my value through performance. Unfortunately, the performance was also linked to how others evaluate me. I know the dynamics are present for me somewhere deep inside and I need to take a special care of myself to accept it, to be aware. After that, I can decide how I want to act.
We all might have very different incongruence or defense mechanisms. No matter what dynamics are present for us, our unconsciousness affects the way we react. Unless we are aware, we can cause harm not only to ourselves but also to people we lead. By harming others, we harm ourselves too.
Because we are all part of the same whole.
And good or bad are just concepts in our minds.
If you have enjoyed this article and would like to read more, follow me on Medium.
